As Dirty Harry Would Say, "Do you feel lucky? Well, do ya' punk?"

I am feeling pretty lucky! And January must be our lucky month ... because we just won another contest! As many of you know, I love to make things. Cards, invitations, programs, placecards ... everything! So, on a whim, I entered our Christmas card into a contest at Paper Source (which is a FABULOUS paper store in South Coast Plaza) and WE WON!

I dropped the card off back in December and never heard anything from them. I just assumed someone else had won the prize. I happened to be in the store this weekend and inquired about the winner of the contest. I was just curious to see what the winning card looked like. The salesgirl took me up to the counter to show me the winning card and as she handed it to me we both realized ... IT WAS MINE! I just started laughing! She told me that they didn't have my phone number so they couldn't get a hold of me. They were going to send me the gift certificate that I won in the mail, but since I was there today, they would just give it to me. Anyway, it made my day!

On another note, I have one more week to go before I am back at work full-time. Ugh. I plan on trying to go a full day on Tuesday to get used to the idea. But I will be honest, I would much rather be looking at this little face all day:

That. Was. Awful.

There is no other way to put it.

I was going into the office today for an 8am meeting and a trial run of the pumping, etc., so Chris offered to stay with Ashley until Claudia arrived at 7:45. Of course, my perfect angel daughter who has been regularly sleeping through the night, woke up at 4am and was hungry. I just couldn't go back to sleep after that and lay awake worrying about how I wasn't going to be there in the morning to explain to Claudia how to fix Ashley's bottle.

Of course, Ashley then decided to sleep in, so I woke her up at 7:15 trying to keep her on her regular feeding schedule. All she wanted to do was smile and look at me. Chris came in at 7:30 and told me to get going to work and as I handed her over to him, I felt this huge wave of emotion. I just couldn't believe that this special time with my little girl was almost up and that I was going back to work.

I gave her a kiss through my tears and she gave me the biggest, brightest smile. That made me start to sob, so I gathered my things and went out to the garage, crying pretty loud. As I opened the garage door, I heard a pleasant, "Good Morning!" And looked up to see Claudia walking up the driveway. Immediately, her happy face dropped and she said, "What happened?!" Poor thing probably thought someone had died!

Anyway, I cried all the way to work and finally composed myself before walking into the building. I thought I was fine until I walked into my office and saw that my assistant had placed a box of tissues on my desk with pictures of Ashley on each side. It was such a nice gesture...she knows me pretty well.

My 8am meeting went fine and by 11am, it was time to go down to the "Lactation Lounge" to try out the pump. I opened the frosted glass doors in the women's locker room and saw that the "lounge" was basically a room with a couch ... that FACES THE DOOR! What kind of idiot faces the lactation couch towards the door?! I can just hear myself now, "Oh, Hi Michelle! Haven't seen you in four months! I hope you enjoy this bird's eye view of my gi-normous lactating breasts! See you in the Nachos BellGrande meeting at 2!" I mean, come on people! This is hard enough! I just couldn't bring myself to do it, so I turned around and walked out.

I made it 5 hours today. I am going to try again tomorrow.

By the way, Ashley is happy as a little clam. She has a new friend who sings to her and plays with her all day. And I still got a big smile when I got home. And THAT was the best part of my day.

So Far, So Good

Let's just say this wasn't a perfect day, but it wasn't terrible either. Claudia arrived right on time at 10am with a smile on her face. Ashley played the shy game and really made her work for a smile - but she gave one pretty quickly. By 11am, we had walked through the routine and Ashley was happily playing with Claudia and laughing her little head off. She apparently loves Claudia's rendition of Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star. I took that opportunity to run out for a coffee and the dry cleaning. I felt perfectly calm and comfortable, knowing my daughter was a happy little mouse.

As I pulled into the garage on my return, I braced myself for what I might encounter on entry...

The house was perfectly quiet. No one in the living room, no one upstairs. I walked down the hall to the bedroom. And there was Claudia folding and putting away our laundry while Ashley was fast asleep in her bassinet. I think it was love at first sight. I almost cried a tear of joy.

Anyway, all was well until Ashley woke up and was Mrs. Crabby Pants. Nothing Claudia could do was right. Nothing I could do was right. She ended up eating about an hour and a half early and then played tentatively with Claudia. Then she would cry again. Tried to put her back down. Homegirl wasn't havin' it. Tried to sing to her. Homegirl wasn't havin' it. Changed her diaper. You would have thought I chopped off her arm. Finally she went down for a little nap after much singing and snuggling from mommy. Honestly, I don't know who I felt worse for: Ashley or Claudia!

I sent Claudia home at 3, even though I would have loved to finish organizing our closet. I just thought that maybe the constant stimulus was a little too much for Ashley. She isn't used to having someone talk to her every moment! (I do a lot of talking, but she also rides along on errands, etc. and sleeps in the car.) We have tomorrow to try again. I plan on going into the office tomorrow, so I won't be here to see what happens. I don't know if that is better or worse. My computer bag is all packed up (complete with a new picture of Ashley for my desk) and my breastpump is in the car! Ugh! That is not something I am looking forward to! More tomorrow on the next chapter in the Saga of the First Time Working Mom!

It's Here

I can't believe it, but Ashley's nanny starts tomorrow. I woke up last night with a terrible case of anxiety. This has gotten here so much faster than I could have imagined. I just can't help but think about the things that I will miss while someone else watches her. All the smiles, the giggles and belly laughs that will go to someone else - it breaks my heart. I can't imagine going all day without kissing those cheeks.

I am trying to be positive. I know that she will have someone's undivided attention all day. She just loves me so much and I hope that doesn't change because she will spend the majority of her day with someone else.

I will post tomorrow night with a picture of Ashley and Claudia and let you know how it all went... I am not back at work until the 21st, but am going into the office on Tuesdays and Thursdays to ease myself into the routine.

WE WON!

Thanks to everyone for voting! We won the contest and Sweet Baby Photo is giving us an 11 x 14 of the picture and half off of our next session fee. We are planning on taking some family photos in the spring, so we really appreciate everyone taking the time to vote for her picture! Erin does such great work - if you live in So Cal, I highly recommend her to take your family's photos!

(After all that excitement, Ashley had to take a little nap on Daddy's shoulder. I love those cheeks!)

PHOTO CONTEST - HELP US WIN!

A picture of Ashley was nominated to be in a photo contest on www.sweetbabyblog.com Please help us win by going to the website and voting for her picture (Image #3) in the snowman teacup!!!

Happy New Year!

Here's to a happy and healthy 2008!