So, we had been planning to go to Mexico (Cabo) for a wedding for some time. I knew that I wasn't going to be able to leave Ashley behind for multiple nights - not to mention be out of the country! Of course we had to procure a passport for the little munchkin because you cannot travel to Mexico without one any longer. The funny thing is that BOTH parents have to be present when you apply for a child's passport. I guess they don't want either parent getting any funny ideas about stealing their child away from the other one and skipping town! To get both of us to the passport agency was a feat in itself and of course had to happen on a Saturday due to work schedules. After FOUR HOURS at the passport agency, we had completed our paperwork and were able to send it away for expedited service. Here is her lovely photo that she will have for about five years.
"Excuse me little girl, can I please see your passport?"
"This does not look like you. Please come with me..."
Flash forward to our big international trip... We were lucky enough to have a pair of retired grandparents that signed up for the nanny job so that we could enjoy ourselves, but still see little Ashley whenever we wanted. Actually, Grammy signed up for the job and Grandpa decided he wanted to tag along since he had never been to Cabo. (In case you were wondering, Chris made Grandpa pay his own way. MEAN!)
Of course, the airline could not give us seats anywhere near each other and I am sure our "nannies" breathed a sigh of relief. None of us were sure how Ashley was going to do on her first plane ride. I had the bottle all ready and had timed her feeding to coincide perfectly with our take off. I had read that some babies have trouble with pressure in their ears during takeoff and landing and it was recommended to have a bottle or pacifier handy. We boarded the plane and Ashley was all smiles to the passengers. So far so good... we got settled into our seats. Ashley was a "lap child" so either Chris or myself would have to hold her the entire flight. She flirted with the guy sitting next to us, smiled at the flight attendants and was in an all around stellar mood. They gave the word that cellphones, etc. needed to be turned off and we backed out from the gate. At about this time, Ashley started to whine a little bit. It was already a half hour after her feeding time and we were starting to get close to Defcon 4 status. As we taxied down the runway towards our takeoff position, we decided it was time to break out the bottle. Of course, as soon as she started drinking it, they announced a delay and that we would be sitting for 15-20 minutes. Great. There went our foolproof "bottle" plan for takeoff. (You've heard of trying to take candy from a baby? You should see Ashley when you try and take her bottle away ... not a good idea.) Needless to say, she finished her bottle just as we started to zoom down the runway for takeoff. Chris and I braced ourselves for the worst. You know what? Nothing happened! She was fine! In fact, she fell asleep as soon as we got in the air and slept for most of the trip.
Once we landed and were in line at customs, people kept commenting on how well she did and how cute she was ... parents and "nannies" were very proud. We got to the hotel with no troubles and checked into our rooms which were just down the hall from each other. Our "nannies" offered to have Ashley sleep in their room since Chris and I would likely have some late nights with the wedding festivities. Let's just say that we didn't have to be asked twice! That first night, I still woke up thinking that I needed to check on her, but of course she was sleeping through the night like a perfect child just down the hall.
The next day, I worried about where we would put the little lady, given her lily white skin. I was not a very big fan of bringing her down to the pool. 50 SPF only works so well, right?! Anyway, once I got down to the pool, I saw that they had cabanas all around the pool that were shaded, so Ashley and Grammy made themselves right at home. As you can see, Ashley was having a very difficult time adjusting to this lifestyle.
I think this would be a very good time to point out that Grammy was on nanny-watch. Where was Grandpa you ask? Well, you could find him on a stool at the swim up bar in the pool. One of our friends kept yelling, "Hey Ron! Where's the kid?!" Ahh, good times.
The rest of the trip went smoothly and I think both Ashley and the "nannies" enjoyed their time together. I know Chris and I really enjoyed having some time to ourselves too. (I will admit that I woke up super early every morning and rushed down to see Ashley's face every morning. And every day she greeted me with the biggest smile you could ever imagine. Kinda like this one...)
Soon, it was time to return home. Four days was the perfect amount of time. As we boarded the plane, we all hoped for the same results from our littlest traveler. Of course, the bottle was once again gone before we took off, but little Ashley fell asleep right afterwards and didn't move for the entire trip. I was in Heaven to have my little girl snuggled in my arms. (She doesn't do that very often anymore!)
As we started our decent into LAX, the little princess stirred ever so gently and opened her eyes. What an angel, I thought to myself. She looked up at me with her big blue eyes and gave me a slight little smile.
Then ... it happened. At first, I pretended not to notice it. But it got stronger and stronger as the minutes ticked by. Yes ... the telltale smell of a dirty diaper. Suddenly, Ashley's face started to get red and she started grunting of all things! I glanced over to Chris with a helpless look! "She's pooping!" I whispered. The smell was really getting fierce. I looked at the guy next to me and shrugged my shoulders, "At least she was quiet, right?" He laughed and told me not to worry. So a little poop, no big deal, right? That's when I repositioned her on my lap and realized THAT I WAS COMPLETELY COVERED IN POOP! It was all up her back, on my hands, down my pants ... HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?!
We used every last wipe that we had in the diaper bag - which was three. Three stupid wipes trying to combat the biggest explosion you have ever seen. I just started laughing hysterically, which made Chris laugh. And as soon as Ashley saw us laughing, she started to laugh which made every one around us laugh and thank god because I was worried that everyone was going to pass out from the toxic fumes!
So that was that. And let me just say that you've got no game when you are covered in your daughter's poop. There is nothing that makes you feel more unattractive or old ... except maybe expressing yourself. Boy, being a parent is humbling...
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